Friday, November 6, 2009

Eviction Notice

Dear Quick-Tips, Prick-Lips, Cunt-Licking Prick, and Cock-Sucking Dick,

As residents of the Local 1080, please be advised that our Resident Protection Plan will no longer be effective as of November 6, 2009. What this means is that your landlord is free to evict you, should he, she, or they so desire. The Freedom To Be A Cocksucker Act, or FTBACA, was rescinded by the Congress of Idiots. Please excuse the capitalization. The Idiots voted unanimously against the protections you once enjoyed. The Landlord Guild discussed the situation at great length at the Local 1080 General Assembly meeting. If you were not there, you should know that the Landlord Guild hired private investigators, who found out that you are prostitutes. They said that, unless you stop charging for sex, you will be evicted.

Best Wishes,
Alan Gunzer
Local 1080 President

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