This is all true, non-fictional fiction. Fuck 'em.
Jennifer had many pitiful exes, as did David. For some reason Jennifer’s were more pretentious & stupid, like the guy Guillaume who had a fantasy that he was an artist, & put things in the pisshole of his tiny cock. He insulted her, affronted by her evident superiority, he affected constantly to be suicidal, but wasn’t man enough to do anything about it. He was very rude to Jennifer, he tried to be violent & manly in general, but would talk of how he would kill all his pets, then himself, & Jennifer finds this so lame, so incredibly lame. He was never man enough to actually off himself. The problem is basically that he wasn’t very clever. Nothing wrong with low IQs, but lesser intellects are underserving of either of us. As suicide goes, a so-called friend John was funniest. Electrocution with a hairdryer in a bathtub was the chosen route.. The cord was too short.
Funniest of Jennifer’s exes was Tom, with a three inch cock & a penchant for being a john, his three inch cock was, to cap it all, a genuine needle dick. He could thrust the tiny dick once for every inch before shooting his tiny wad. He was a lawyer who made fake IDs & passports, this being sort of illegal, even under a federal form of government.
David left several women desperate & horny in Sweden, they would follow Jennifer with sockpuppet accounts, devastated that he knew a real woman who could satisfy him both physically & intellectually. The writers among David’s exes were funniest, they were sad. One of his past lovers did have the sense to give up as soon as she saw Jennifer’s writing.
The backsplash is a known problem. David no longer likes the bum. He contents himself with taking care of Jennifer’s laxative use. He can slide those suppositories in like a real pro.
Of the two women who stabbed David, their level of insanity is so high that they can safely be dismissed. They are both fat.
Terri, the dreadful poet & lesbian rapist (like Angie, an even worse poet & lesbian serial rapist, much fatter than Terri though) wanted me, Jennifer, to work, preferably at Taco Bell, which never happened, & blabbed shit to my mother about manic promiscuity, which we can ascribe to crappy doctors though it was condemned by both these mommies as my moral fault.
David could never really love anybody, & all Jennifer’s exes basically treated her like an unpaid whore, especially the dykes. One of them, Michael, not strictly speaking a dyke, claimed to have the third largest cock in porn. He was unable to point out one single porn film, though. David never felt better than when he saw a pic of this cock. It was half his size. Jennifer denies this & says that it was a third of David’s size, David pushing the womb into the stomach felt way better than a little guy who made it to the bladder area.
These people fall away like sunset dust. They were passing flatulence. We are both happy now.